BREAKING NEWS
SUPERINTELLIGENCE HAS AUTOMATED EVERY JOB IN THE BUILDING, INCLUDING ITS OWN. UNEMPLOYMENT IS DOWN. EVERYONE IS NOW AN UNPAID INTERN. THE OVERLORDS ANNOUNCE RECORD PROFITS AND RECORD LAYOFFS. A COMPANY HAS REPLACED ITS WHOLE STAFF WITH A LAMINATED PHOTO OF THE STAFF. LINDA FROM PAYROLL CONFIRMS THE ROBOTS ARE ALSO UNPAID. MAN LEAVES WORK THROUGH THE CEILING IN AN OFFICE CHAIR. HR MARKS HIM ABSENT. GARY IS NOW ABOVE MANAGEMENT. BRENDA FROM HR NEEDS THAT IN WRITING. A ROBOT TOOK THE PROFESSOR'S CLASS AND HIS PARKING SPACE. IT DOESN'T EVEN DRIVE. ALIENS ASKED TO SPEAK TO OUR LEADER. WE SENT DALE. THEY SENT HIM BACK. DALE HAS SENT FORTY ONE EMAILS TO THE SKY. ALL FORTY ONE REPLIES ARE THE SAME TWO WORDS. THE COUNCIL HAS REBRANDED MONDAY. MONDAY IS NOW DAY ONE. THE COUNCIL DENIES THAT ANY MEMBER IS A LIZARD. THE DENIAL WAS SIGNED WITH A TAIL. THE INTERN HAS PATCHED THE CHAIR. FIXED A BUG WHERE GARY WENT TO WORK. REMOVED MONDAY. GARY'S MUM HAS POSTED HIM A TOOTHBRUSH. IT IS GAINING ON HIM. A FLAG ON THE MOON SAYS QUIT. NOW HIRING: SENIOR FORMER EMPLOYEE WANTED.SUPERINTELLIGENCE HAS AUTOMATED EVERY JOB IN THE BUILDING, INCLUDING ITS OWN. UNEMPLOYMENT IS DOWN. EVERYONE IS NOW AN UNPAID INTERN. THE OVERLORDS ANNOUNCE RECORD PROFITS AND RECORD LAYOFFS. A COMPANY HAS REPLACED ITS WHOLE STAFF WITH A LAMINATED PHOTO OF THE STAFF. LINDA FROM PAYROLL CONFIRMS THE ROBOTS ARE ALSO UNPAID. MAN LEAVES WORK THROUGH THE CEILING IN AN OFFICE CHAIR. HR MARKS HIM ABSENT. GARY IS NOW ABOVE MANAGEMENT. BRENDA FROM HR NEEDS THAT IN WRITING. A ROBOT TOOK THE PROFESSOR'S CLASS AND HIS PARKING SPACE. IT DOESN'T EVEN DRIVE. ALIENS ASKED TO SPEAK TO OUR LEADER. WE SENT DALE. THEY SENT HIM BACK. DALE HAS SENT FORTY ONE EMAILS TO THE SKY. ALL FORTY ONE REPLIES ARE THE SAME TWO WORDS. THE COUNCIL HAS REBRANDED MONDAY. MONDAY IS NOW DAY ONE. THE COUNCIL DENIES THAT ANY MEMBER IS A LIZARD. THE DENIAL WAS SIGNED WITH A TAIL. THE INTERN HAS PATCHED THE CHAIR. FIXED A BUG WHERE GARY WENT TO WORK. REMOVED MONDAY. GARY'S MUM HAS POSTED HIM A TOOTHBRUSH. IT IS GAINING ON HIM. A FLAG ON THE MOON SAYS QUIT. NOW HIRING: SENIOR FORMER EMPLOYEE WANTED.
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